Life here is getting better. My mother, ST/Naomi and I have moved away from the ex and Texas. We are still getting things set up, but you know what? I feel so much better. I can't even describe it. I don't know how long I've been so miserable; I think perhaps it'd become my normal state and I was simply used to it.
But leaving, and ending a marriage I was miserable in, has changed things in me and for me. I don't dread each day, and I am just happy, there's no other word for it.
Times will be rough financially. I don't care. I'll work multiple jobs if I have to, and I WILL still write, though sales and income for a lot of us authors have declined sharply. I didn't write for the money in the first place, but I do have to make a living and support my family, so if that means finding a couple of part time jobs, so be it.
We are living in a very nice apartment, the nicest place I've ever lived, really. I know a lot of people think authors make bank, but the majority do not. I lived in a house that really should have been torn down and rebuilt, and I'm not exaggerating. It's nice to be somewhere not depressing, and to have my Mom and Naomi with me. I miss Amber, Mike, Elijah and Charlie, but I am glad to be away from everyone else we left behind.
It's difficult when you realize that you don't love someone, or respect them, or like them, and you know they're presenting one face to you and another to others. When you know they are ashamed or embarrassed by you but they won't say so to your face.
And it's shitty that one can be taken at their appearance, to be the 'good' one or not.
But here's what I know:
I can stand on my own feet, and I can walk this world with my shoulders held high, and I can carry the weight of my responsibilities on my shoulders with grace, if not with ease. I'm strong, and I'm happy, and letting someone else hold me down because they're none of those things will not happen.
I have closed my Bailey B FaceBook, and will likely keep that down. Naomi will run an author page for me, and I'll be on the blog and Twitter.
I will be back with a free story for y'all starting May 1st. All new, sorry, but as before, I've lost the thread here with all the drama.
However, I've got a book coming out with Rainbow Ninja Press soon! It's not finished (the book) but will be done by this Sunday evening. It's going to have BDSM, and be a combo of a really short story that was featured in an antho for Torquere Press last year, and a new story that goes with it, that will be longer and angstier and feature a different MC.
I wish you all joy and peace, and hope y'all will hang in there with me for this journey.