If you're under 18, then go on and git.




Saturday, April 22, 2017

Update

Hey, y'all. I hope everyone's doing okay. 

Life here is getting better. My mother, ST/Naomi and I have moved away from the ex and Texas. We are still getting things set up, but you know what? I feel so much better. I can't even describe it. I don't know how long I've been so miserable; I think perhaps it'd become my normal state and I was simply used to it. 

But leaving, and ending a marriage I was miserable in, has changed things in me and for me. I don't dread each day, and I am just happy, there's no other word for it. 

Times will be rough financially. I don't care. I'll work multiple jobs if I have to, and I WILL still write, though sales and income for a lot of us authors have declined sharply. I didn't write for the money in the first place, but I do have to make a living and support my family, so if that means finding a couple of part time jobs, so be it. 

We are living in a very nice apartment, the nicest place I've ever lived, really. I know a lot of people think authors make bank, but the majority do not. I lived in a house that really should have been torn down and rebuilt, and I'm not exaggerating. It's nice to be somewhere not depressing, and to have my Mom and Naomi with me. I miss Amber, Mike, Elijah and Charlie, but I am glad to be away from everyone else we left behind. 

It's difficult when you realize that you don't love someone, or respect them, or like them, and you know they're presenting one face to you and another to others. When you know they are ashamed or embarrassed by you but they won't say so to your face. 

And it's shitty that one can be taken at their appearance, to be the 'good' one or not. 

But here's what I know:

I can stand on my own feet, and I can walk this world with my shoulders held high, and I can carry the weight of my responsibilities on my shoulders with grace, if not with ease. I'm strong, and I'm happy, and letting someone else hold me down because they're none of those things will not happen. 

I have closed my Bailey B FaceBook, and will likely keep that down. Naomi will run an author page for me, and I'll be on the blog and Twitter. 

I will be back with a free story for y'all starting May 1st. All new, sorry, but as before, I've lost the thread here with all the drama. 

However, I've got a book coming out with Rainbow Ninja Press soon! It's not finished (the book) but will be done by this Sunday evening. It's going to have BDSM, and be a combo of a really short story that was featured in an antho for Torquere Press last year, and a new story that goes with it, that will be longer and angstier and feature a different MC. 

I wish you all joy and peace, and hope y'all will hang in there with me for this journey. 

<3

7 comments:

Demetra said...

Happy you are finally happy. Enjoy one day at a time. Just simply enjoy.

Bailey;-) said...

Thank you, Demetra! <3

Tekikat said...

Well said Bailey - very empowering and inspirational! I was married for 11 years and thought it was a phase...tried counseling and whatnot....realized in the end it takes 2 to make this marriage work....divorce was scary but the best thing I have done...even if we got back together it won't be the same...trust is a huge part in every relationship.

Bailey;-) said...

Thank you, Tekikat. There will never be a reconciliation in this case; I refuse to let anyone belittle me or mock me, or dismiss me, and so on. Divorce is difficult, but finding one's strength and learning that, and the value of one's self, those are priceless, and worth any battle.

Margaret S said...

Good Luck in your new home. I hope you can settle into a good life with your mother, ST/Naomi and your pets.
Wishing you well with the job hunting and your future writing. Will hold you all in my thoughts.
I agree with Tekikat trust when broken is almost impossible to rebuild and rarely happens.

Miranda P said...

I am glad everything is getting better for you.

L. M. said...

Hugs Bailey! I am glad to hear you are happy. Everything else will fall into place. Thank you for letting us into your life and for standing up for yourself, I know many people will take inspiration from your bravery and respect for yourself to do what is right for you. Thanks! Big hugs to you guys<3

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