If you're under 18, then go on and git.




Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thursday Babble...

*sigh* I miss picture day, lol! I've checked creative commons but either I'm searching wrong or they don't have anything I want to post, one of the two. Or maybe I haven't looked hard enough, there's not been a lot of time to do that lately. I'm working on the next Leopard's book, and I really want to rewrite Breaking the Devil and there's Conner's story and Stefan's story, and the spin off from Love in Xxchange set in Montana at the Mossy Glenn... O.o and that's just the start. Need more hours in the day!

Thank you everyone who left encouraging comments re the whole trying to get in shape post. It's hard, isn't it? Amber came in today with blueberry scones. I've locked myself in my room otherwise I'd look at the scones, then have just one, then owe her five bucks 'cause I ate them all. ^.^

Have I updated y'all about my dad? If not, here is what's going on there. In June we were told he had a tumor blocking his lung so that the doctors couldn't see into it, and that the cancer was still there after the chemo ended in March. They found cancer cells when they washed out his infected/cancerous lung, and told us it had spread they just didn't know where. And they told us to make preparations.

Now? Now the oncologist said the cancer is gone-- which is great, yes, but I don't even know who to believe. She said the doctors who were treating him for the pneumonia the first time weren't cancer doctors and should have not spoken out of turn as they weren't trained in oncology. I showed her the end of life pamphlets we'd been given and the list of morgues and crematoriums, and while I am relieved, I am angry at them putting my dad and the rest of us through so much terror. So months of panic and torment, not just for us but for him, and it's put down to the doctors talking about things they had no knowledge of? I don't know. I told Margaret, I feel like my brain's have been taken out, scrambled, and only half of them dumped back in. Dad still can't breathe well at all, can't walk far, can't do anything for the most part, and no one is able to tell us why. He's retaining fluid around or in his lungs (not clear on that) and the doctors are now talking about congestive heart failure-- but scheduled his EKG for December. I am so frustrated, and so is he and the rest of the family.

I hope the cancer is gone. I want to believe that, and I want him to get better. He's already had to go to the hospital once this week again, and no one can give us answers. Maybe there aren't any answers. I don't know. He seems worse off than he was during the chemo and radiation.

Didn't mean to go on a rant, but, I'd told y'all when the bad things happened, and the cancer being gone is a great thing. I really, really want to have a chat with the doctors who told us they saw the tumor in his lung and it had spread and etc etc because if they don't have the knowledge regarding such things, they shouldn't scare the shit out of people, you know?

...Y'all miss picture day too, don't ya? :D

18 comments:

Yvette said...

It is very frustrating when the doctors can not give us the answers that we seek. I remember going through the same thing when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and there were days when I wanted to shout from the roof tops! You and you Dad and family are always in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully they will be able to give you the answers soon. Please keep your spirits up.
Yvette

Margaret S said...

I am glad for you and the family that that cancer terror appears to have been lifted but your dad has gone through a lot with the chemo, radiation and other treatments. The side effects of the treatment are not nice and some may be long lasting. Things like sensitivity to the sun can be a hang over from the radiation. His body has been put under a terrible stress and recovering his strength may take some time. But you still have him with you so enjoy the moment.
"I feel like my brain's have been taken out, scrambled, and only half of them dumped back in." - Well you do better with whatever was put back than most of us do with the whole thing.
I miss the pictures,I miss the drooling and fanning myself and I miss the naughty banter that they inspired but I am sure Thursday can be re-used for something we will all enjoy. As you may have noticed lots of us respond to your ranting and it is a good way to let off steam for all who join in.
Now I'm off to bed and wish you all goodnight.

Kerstin said...

*hugs and smooches*

jraecat said...

It is never wrong to rant - great way to blow off steam or pressure from all that happens.
I also miss picture day - loved all the views!!

Kristie F said...

Hey,

We all love you, and are more than willing to share your frustration.

I've been a little foggy lately (newborn, hospital, visitors, lack of sleep) but if the lack of pics is due to lack of permission, you might try looking up "sean cody" They gave permission to another website I follow to post stills, but it's def not safe for work!

MargaretP said...

Keep ranting if that is what you need, no one minds and you need the outlet.

Yes!!!! I miss the pictures. Besides the wonderful eye candy it was a reminder that the week was almost over.

Hang in there and know that you have everyones prayers and good thoughts going to you and your family.

Jase G. said...

Ther is nothing wrong with getting a few things off your chest. Sometimes having the ability to rant and rave is exactly what you need. After everything going on with your father, you certainly are entitled to it. These kinds of actions by doctors give the medical community a bad name. I'm not sure where all the blame needs to go, but something must change. Putting patients and their families through this kind of torture (That seems to be what it is!) is absolutely wrong. Sorry, but hearing these kinds of stories really ticks me off. People need sympathy and the the best treatment available. Not guesses and whatevers. Okay, guess I'm done now. The point was that letting these things out is good. Support of people surrounding you, whether in person or on the 'net, is good.
If I end up going to Texas, it will probably be San Antonio. That's where my friend lives. Might have to put it off until this winter. I really hate the heat.
I can't believe the story might be coming to an end already. It feels like it just began. Any ideas what will be next? Good luck with all the writing you have to do. I can't wait to read all those stories! Now that I'm caught up I'm going through a bit of anxiety because I have no idea what I need to read next. If anyone has any ideas, please let know.
UUUGGGHHHH, I'm rambling. How embarassing. Miss the pictures, but love the chats. Hope all is well with you and yours!

Kat! said...

I miss pic days, too!! It's was a little bit of pleasure, in an otherwise difficult existence. Doctors, people are all the same. Their mouths aren't connected to their brains!! And they don't think of others with compassion, or respect. Their worlds revolve around themselves.
I have two additions to my family. I adopted two baby kittens. They have helped emmensely in my grief of losing my Jag. One is a tiny, calico I named Kalico 1...KT...or Kalli, for short, and her larger brother Jag 11...JT...or Jagger for short. He is white, with beige splotches. They both have the marks of tear trails along the side of their noses...Kalli has one on each side, and Jagger has one. They are rather rowdy, at times, but sweet, little, loving, botormoats(motorboats)LOL...that purr, and cuddle, and make me feel better, though my own health has suffered due to the horrible humidity all summer. I guess I'd never be able to live in Louisiana. Cold, or humidity...what a choice!!!! It sucks badly!!!LOL. Life is hard enough without dealing with the crap others spread.
I say we all deserve our rants!!!!
I can't always comment, but I still check in all the time. My best to all of you. We all deserve better. This is a good bunch!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for updating us about your Dad. It is so frustrating to know what is going on with conflicting info from the doctors. I went through that with both of my parents. Keep your family close and enjoy the precious moments that you have with them. Also, take time out for yourself. Take care.

Jess1

Bailey;-) said...

Yvette,

Thank you so much. I appreciate you sharing with me as well. I'm trying, it's just hard, but you know that. I'm sorry y'all went through it; you'd think we could all get some consistent and correct help. Y'all have been a big help with the keeping my spirits up part:)

Bailey;-) said...

Margaret S,

I hope that's it, that he's just worn out from the treatments and pneumonia, but he couldn't hardly get out of bed earlier today and couldn't even roll the ball to Elijah. And he won't go to the hospital.
Heh, I don't think I do better with what was put back in than anyone. Swear sometimes I can't find my own butt with both hands, as the saying goes! I hope you have a fantastic weekend:)

Bailey;-) said...

KeDe,

*huggz n kisses* Thank you!

Bailey;-) said...

jraecat,

Thank you:) It does help, and I appreciate y'all chatting with me about it very much. I'm going to find pics or something... *sigh* Happy weekend to you!

Bailey;-) said...

Kristie F,

Aw, well thank you! That's just making my evening:) Congratulations on the newborn! Feel free to share the deets ^.^
I will give SC a shot, and it's the NSFW pics I'm after, lol. Thursday needs lifts like that! Happy weekend to you and your family, and thank you for the tip!

Bailey;-) said...

MargaretP,

Thank you, y'all have been awesome with commenting and letting me vent. I appreciate it so much! Maybe I can find some pics, or the place Kristie suggested will be cool with letting me use pics. All I can do is ask:)
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, we all appreciate them! I hope you have a fantastic weekend:D

Bailey;-) said...

Jase G,

I just was having a mini-meltdown. I do think telling him he had cancer still then telling him, oops, no ya don't, was very cruel and yes, everyone was relieved, but *insert bad words* the fear up until then? I'm just very angry about it. And angry that he's still doing so poorly and no one can tell us what is going on. I'll start ranting all over again. Thank you for replying and making me grin:)
SA is all right. Have you been before, then? The coast is about 3 hours away; the part I go to is, anyways. It's all about the same distance. After checking on my parents today, I loaded Super Teen up and we hit the road. She starts school Monday and we wanted some mom-kiddo time. All we did, really, was walk 6 miles on the beach, but it was lovely. If the heat gets to you, late October through February or March is probably your best bet. February means the rodeo, and rain and mud, but if you enjoy the rodeo... It's pretty big, and lots of people there.
I'm thinking of the Leopard's Spots men you'd brought up before. Short stories, though, well maybe not. I always end up writing them longer than I meant to:)
What kind of stories do you like? Shifters, cowboys, contemporary, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery-- let me know and I will toss some suggestions to you:)
And feel free to ramble, that's what we all do here if we want. This blog is about everyone who hangs around here, and y'all all are welcome to chat as much as you like. I hope you have an amazing weekend!

Bailey;-) said...

Kat!,

Hi!! I'm so glad you were able to comment, I'd been wondering how you were doing:) Congratulations on the two new additions, Kalli and Jagger! They sound like they are lovely, loving botormoats (heh, love that!)
Humidity is horrible, it's always bad here. Permanent frizz hair, yup. I try to stay inside unless we're at the beach, and you will definitely be sticky from that alt and humid air. But at least that's fun. How about you move to Arizona or New Mexico-- dry, but very hot, both of them.
Yes, we all should get to vent, for sure. I'm glad you're still checking in, and you know you're always welcome to comment. Give the kittens a kiss for me *mwah* And yes, there's a wonderful group of people at the blog. I'm very lucky to get to chat with them. Please take care, and have a wonderful weekend!

Bailey;-) said...

Jess1,

You're welcome, and thank you for taking the time to reply. I do appreciate it, and I also pass along the good thoughts and prayers to my parents. I'm about ready to scream at a doctor or two, which would do nothing but make matters worse, so I'm working on that. Take care and have a fantastic weekend, Jess1 :D

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